Velda Brotherton
Grab a soda, sit in a booth, and let's try something new. How about an OWL critique group? Send us that essay, article, short story or novel you've been working on and we'll post it on your own page on the OWL website. No more than 10 pages, 12 point font. Be sure to include your name and e-mail address so that readers can make comments directly to you. Cut and paste your work into the body of an e-mail and send it to LouTurn@aol.com And remember, when making comments on other people's work, be constructive and courteous. Only OWL members may participate. Click here to become a member. Membership Form
Click on titles.
It a short story by Luella Turner
Memories a short story by Regina Williams
Grasshopper Summer a personal essay by Peg Nichols
Blessing's Curse a short story (partial) by Julie Earhart
Theodosia's Flock the first chapter of a novel by Dennis Bryant
Teen Novel the first chapter of an as yet un-named teen novel by Kate Lacy
Moon by Jackie Harris
Submit your work in the body of an e-mail, and we'll post it here...send to
Works posted on critique pages are not considered published and may be submitted elsewhere.
Send us your how-to articles, or articles and essays about the writing life.These works are considered published, with all rights remaining with the author.The Editor's Job. . . by Regina Williams
The editing process isn't as hard as it sounds, nor is it as easy. When deciding which story an editor will use in the magazine, we look first for professionalism, clean copy and a story that will hold our attention (remember, an editor has the attention span of a two-year-old). Once we have most of that, then our work must consist of the actual editing of that story. Has the author used the same sounding works correctly--for example--their instead of there or you're instead of your. Finding and changing the misspelled or misused words is the easy part. Next an editor will look for inconsistencies in the story. Is the main characters name the same all the way through? (I've had stories that changed the main character's name four times throughout the story.) Does the ending make sense? I could go on and on, but the main thing an editor must worry about is making that story the best that it can be without changing the author's voice. That's the hard part.
Is is always possible to change a sentence to make it sound better without losing the author's voice? Usually. An editor's job is not to rewrite a story, but to help enhance where possible, cut all the "stuff" that can be left out, such as, the same words used sentence after sentence. Cut unnecessary words--and one comes foremost to mind--'that'. Nine times out of ten, 'that' is not necessary. Also, an editor must look over descriptions or dialogues that take the story nowhere. You want your reader with you at every turn and by adding too much description or boring dialogue, the author will lose that reader fast. That's why most writers should edit their work before sending it out. Get rid of the descriptions that do not advance the story, or at least cut it down to one, maybe two, sentences. Take out as many 'that's' as you can and--you are a word smith--find words to replace the 'ing' nightmare.
As an editor, I spend a lot of time on stories that have 'he said', 'she said', behind every sentence. If the writer only has two people talking, establish in the first two sentences who is saying what. After that, let it run as a dialogue, only without all those 'saids'.
An editor's job is not to change your story, but to help an author say it more clearly. To change more, especially in a short story, we run the risk of changing the author's voice and it would no longer be "the writer's" story.
Your motto should echo Elmore Leonard's when he said, "when you write, try to leave out all the parts readers skip." Good luck.
Point of View...by Velda BrothertonOne of the most difficult tasks in fiction writing is learning to understand and write using proper point of view.
KINDS OF POINT OF VIEW
First Person: The I of storytelling.
Second Person: This is the you who becomes a character, who participates in the action while controlling the story. "You read the article in the paper again, unable to believe what it says. You wouldn’t have believed it if you hadn’t seen it for yourself." NOT RECOMMENDED
Third Person: He or she of storytelling. The author doesn’t have to tell you all he knows and he calls all the shots. He can even tell what’s going on somewhere else. This allows for more than one pov character, but beginners should not try it.
There are actually three types of third person POV. They are called the omnisciences.
Omniscient: The author can enter any character’s head, see through any character’s eyes or muck around any character’s heart. This is not really "as God," because readers only need to be told as much as they need to know. Normally, though dipping into all characters, a writer should stay with two or three main characters to keep from muddying the waters and confusing the reader as to who is most important. NOT FOR BEGINNERS.
Limited: The protagonist is the only pov character. Writer is objective toward secondary characters, but delves deeply into pov character’s heart and mind and soul. This is an easy pov and one that beginners should try first. BEST FOR BEGINNERS
Objective third person: A cool, impersonal tone is created and writer makes no value judgments. Moral distinctions are left solely up to the reader. Writer is as objective of the main character as he is of all the others. It’s like watching someone else’s home movie. No internalization. RARELY USED EXCEPT IN EXPERIMENTAL WORKS.
For those who have trouble understanding pov it’s best to stick to limited omniscient third person, which translates easily to first person as well. Everything remains the same except the pronoun he or she becomes I.
Perhaps it’s only a matter of preference that will tell you ultimately which you want to use, and also if you want to attempt deep pov, which is growing very popular in today’s fiction.
Deep POV: Not only do you get in the heart, mind and soul of your character, but the entire scene is narrated through him/her. In other words, his/her voice takes over the scene, even though it’s written in third person. This is very effective and fun to do, but thoroughly master pov before going deeper.
No matter which you choose, before you can write an effective short story or novel, you must fully understand pov.
Imagine yourself as your pov character and stand in the center of a room that has windows and a door. Listen. What do you hear? Look around you. What do you see? Now, think of someone coming down the hallway to your room. While you may know who it is because you’re expecting them, you can not see them so you don’t know what they’re wearing, the expression on their face, their body language. Not until they walk through the door. Out in the yard, a dog barks. You can only hear the dog. You can’t see him, so from the sound of his bark, you don’t know if he’s a lab or some other large dog. A gun goes off. Where did the shot come from? Who pulled the trigger? You do not know unless you can see them through the window. This is your pov character.
Let’s pause for a minute and consider Introspection: How did you feel? First, what’s going on in your mind when you hear the footsteps coming down the hall? Who do you think it is and why do you think they are coming? Why did the dog bark and who did he bark at? Who shot the gun, why and at who? Do you feel fear, or do you know that your neighbor often target practices and you think it might be him? Until you actually look out the window, you can’t know, can you? But you will have an emotional reaction to all these things.
Once you do meet who is at the door, you will probably have dialogue. But you cannot know what the other person is thinking or feeling unless they voice it in dialogue. The same with what’s going on outside with the dog barking and the gunfire.
As a writer, using this limited viewpoint, you can’t suddenly tell us that the bad guy who’s been after your pov character has shown up and is about to shoot him. Not unless your pov character sees him and knows who he is and sees that he is about to shoot him. Or he’s been running from this threat and decides he has been caught again. Pov character still won’t know how he found him, or why he’s after him unless he previously knew or unless he asks the bad guy.
Let’s talk about doing description keeping with proper pov usage. If you open a chapter with what the weather is doing—the sun is coming up or setting—put your pov character on the scene first so we see it through his eyes. If he’s cynical, for instance, he will see this scene differently than if he’s optimistic. Same holds true if he’s sad or happy. The sunrise might make him shout with joy at the beauty of another day, break into tears because he’s just lost his best friend and doesn’t want to face another day, or think something, like:
He clenched his fists and glared into the rising sun. Sure, keep coming up, like there’s something to look forward to. Just another damned day, far as I’m (or he was) concerned.
With this attitude he wouldn’t see the beauty or he sees the sunrise but compares it to blood and death, rather than beauty. But the man who shouted with joy would see the sunrise in all its glory and so he can share it with the reader in thoughts and words only this character would use. If he’s a poet (or romantic) at heart he will share it differently than if he’s a pragmatic man, or a man of few words, even if he sees the beauty. Each will compare it to the things they are familiar with.
By using this technique, you are not only placing your reader inside the character, you are creating the mood you want to set for that chapter. All this with proper pov.
Get inside that character until you know him as well as you know yourself.
We have to use "tricks" to make our writing more visual so readers can get lost in the world we’ve created. And, right from the beginning, we have to move our stories along much faster, because we are in competition with movies, computer games and television. People are not as patient as they once were, because everything is available at the touch of a button today. Make your writing tight and character driven if you want to succeed. And learn to handle proper pov or no editor will come knocking at your door.
Velda Brotherton is the author of six western historical romances under the names of Elizabeth Gregg and Samantha Lee—they are available used online at abebooks.com—and three non-fiction Ozark based books. She also has short stories in two anthologies: The Whitest Wash and Ozark Mysteries. She writes a historical column for a weekly newspaper and has been published in numerous magazines. She is currently working on two mainstream women’s fiction novels.
Springdale:The Courage of Shiloh Oct. '02 release
writerpages.com/veldabrotherton
authorsden.com/veldabrotherton
veldabro@valuelinx.net
OWL Vice-President, Mary Nida Smith, has a few encouraging words about book signings and how to handle rejections.
Book signings in a group or just one author can be disappointing and lonely. I am disappointed in writers groups who are fortunate to have bookstores that help promote writers in their area, but fail to stop in to say “hi”. One doesn’t have to buy a book if you are on a limited budget, the author understands. Take some time to ask the questions you have always wanted to ask. The author would love to share his or her knowledge with you. Every writer had help on the way up the ladder and writers love to share and talk. They are storytellers, that is their trade. In sharing they are hoping you become a devoted fan. A writer/author and fan go hand-in-hand pulling together. So the next time an author comes to your closest bookstore beat a path down there and say “welcome,” then watch their eyes light up. By Mary Nida Smith.
How to handle reject slips. You handle each like a hot potato – put it aside until you cool down. By Mary Nida Smith
Remember to visit OWL's Bookstore
louturn@aol.com